Pronouns Day 2024

By Beth Warman

Pronouns Day, 16th October 2024

Gender Inclusive Language

“Watch out. Don’t bump into that lady!”
“Hi guys…”
“The man over there, he…”

We hear phrases like this every day. Generally, they’re harmless and we often don’t think much about using them. Why would we, when many of us have used them for as long as we can remember?

Yet, gender presentation doesn’t always align with gender identity. That is, people don’t always present themselves in ways that we might expect based on their gender.

Women don’t always wear skirts and have long hair. Men don’t always wear suits. Non-binary people don’t always appear androgynous.

These may sound like outdated stereotypes, because they are.

However, much of the time, we make quick, unconscious judgements about others’ identities, based on the way they look, their name or the way that they speak. These judgements don’t directly impact others until we express them.

Language is powerful

Language is an important tool to communicate our beliefs and values. Language allows us to share our interests, communicate who we are and build relationships. Yet, our language also has the power to cause harm to others, without us even realising.

“The man” you referred to may actually be a woman with short hair who happens to be facing away from you.
“That lady” may actually be a trans man whose environment is not safe enough for them to openly transition.
The “guys” that you greeted may actually be a group of women

One question you can ask yourself, when you notice that you’ve made a judgement or assumption about another person is:

“What made me think that about that person?”

While it’s very easy for us to make quick judgements, using language to create an inclusive, safe environment does require effort. That bit of extra effort can make a world of difference.

Be open and curious

This Pronouns Day be open and curious about the people around you. Take a moment, in your office, on the street, in a shop, to look around you and really see the people nearby. Consider the way that they present themselves, notice what quick judgements you make about these people and ask yourself, “what made me think  that about that person?”.

It can be surprising what we realise when we make this a common practice, but over time it will become easier and shift the way that we communicate with others.

There are a number of ways to be more inclusive in your language:

• Referring to someone as “them” or “they” if they have not disclosed their pronouns to you
• Using descriptives to refer to someone, like “the person in the blue coat” instead of “the man” or “the woman”
• Using gender neutral language such as “everyone”, “folks” or “all”, instead of gendered phrases like “ladies and gentleman” or “guys”
• Share your own pronouns when introducing yourself to new people, to show that it’s safe for them to share theirs
• Modelling inclusive language for younger people
• Remembering that you don’t have to understand someone’s experience to respect them

Changing the way that we speak requires a conscious effort and we won’t always get it right. What’s important is making sure that we try (not just on Pronouns Day) to speak in a way that makes others feel included, to create a workplace, town and world where everyone feels safe and valued for who they are.

Learn more about Pronouns Day and using inclusive language here:

International Pronouns Day — Pronouns.org Resources on Personal Pronouns

Inclusive Language — Pronouns.org Resources on Personal Pronouns